


You can have it all, but not all at once

by mysticmilks



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Ben Solo, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Praise Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Techie and Hux are Twins, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Twincest, brief and not detailed mention of Ben/unnamed female character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:41:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticmilks/pseuds/mysticmilks
Summary: Ben doesn’t know what he wants from life. For years he thought that he wanted to make his parents happy. Then he thought he wanted his own normal family, normal job and normal life. When all that fell apart, he's left jobless, lost and alone.Now in the new city, with a new job and the old friend he is ready to start anew. He meets a gorgeous man in the hall of his own house. He knows nothing about him, but that his name is A. Hux, and he lives on the top floor.Ben meets him again a few weeks after, but Hux looks completely different - no beard, longer hair, changed style, and even more, the man is more flirty and seems to like Ben’s company much more.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Clan Techie (Dredd)/Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Clan Techie (Dredd)/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Clan Techie (Dredd)/Kylo Ren
Comments: 64
Kudos: 135





	1. Running away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My small gift for Kylux fandom for Valentine's Day!  
> I love you guys! You are the best!

Everyone around Ben sees his life as perfect. He is the son of a well-known politician Leia Organa and her husband — businessman and showman Han Solo. Ben grew up surrounded by love, respect and wealth. Perfect childhood of the perfect boy.

Oh, yes, his family has a lot of money. Ben lived in the biggest and the most stylish house in the whole neighborhood with a big swimming pool and a basement filled with arcade games and awesome nerd stuff his dad collected. Ben had all the toys he’d ever wanted. He got a brand new red sports car and a huge party all of his school was talking about for his sweet sixteenth.

They were an exemplary upper-class family. The Organa-Solos had the best trips together. They not only went to fancy and exotic destinations like Thailand or Morocco, but they also arranged all the cool adventures like skydiving in Dubai and surfing in Bali. They visited all major theme parks. They had the best parties. From Christmas to Halloween, from the Fourth of July to his mother’s birthday celebration, they invited the whole neighborhood, gladly sharing all of their food and entertainment. 

Ben was an overachiever and a golden boy for as long as he could remember. And even while he was praised by all teachers, he always had a dozen extracurricular activities and a squadron of tutors to give him “an upper hand in life,” as Leia liked to say.

When Ben got his acceptance letter in college, that was the first time he _seriously_ thought about buying a ticket to the next train, changing his name not contacting anyone he knew until he'd found out what he wanted to do with his life.

He didn’t run away. Obviously.

As his mother always reminded him, he was privileged to have all those opportunities and it’d be a waste not to appreciate them. He should have been grateful for all he got. And he tried.

He worked very hard to pretend that he wanted all that. Fake it until you make it, he told himself before his valedictorian speech in high school. Great speech. One of his mom's junior speechwriters “helped” with it.

He got a great education in the best college possible, as his parents always wanted. The famous name that is known across the globe and most kids would commit a literal crime for even a chance to get into it. 

There were bright sides, too. He moved from the family house to a student’s dorm, changed his style to more normal, started using a fake name, found buddies who didn’t know his parents, and dates who sought his body and his strange sense of humor, not his famous surname. Lectures were horribly boring, and his future work was going to be even worse, but he enjoyed small things. _You can't have it all at once,_ he repeated to himself going back to his room in the morning after the night of fun.

There, in college, he met _her_. The girl who gave him hope. The perfect girl. If Ben didn’t know her himself, he wouldn’t believe that she was real. Beautiful, smart, immensely talented. She got in by “a genius scholarship” — some fund was paying for the education her messed-up family obviously couldn’t afford. When Ben needed to force himself to study for long hours, she got everything just by glancing into it. 

Ben was lucky she even noticed him. But for some reason she did, and she even liked what she saw.

His family loved her from first sight, too. Maybe even more than they loved him. Maybe even more than he loved her.

Ben knew that when his mom heard about her, she imagined how the union with “the lower-class prodigy” would improve their family image. And Ben was fine with that. But that wasn’t the main reason why both of his parents adored her. It was impossible not to. The girl was simply perfect. Friendly, easy-going, open and always in a good mood, she was a refreshing contrast to constantly brooding and pensive Ben, who, even with his parents’ charms and money, wasn’t able to really become cool.

When the time came, Ben begged his family not to help him with finding a job. He purposefully didn’t mention his parents when he applied for an internship and was pretty happy when he didn’t get it. He spent that blissful summer doing what he liked for the first time in his life. As he found out, “what he liked” was arguing with strangers online, attending free sports classes, reading not-serious fiction just for the fun of it and doodling. He had the time of his life while his girlfriend interned for his father’s firm. At the end of the summer, Han basically begged her to stay. 

Ben was fine with it. Why wouldn’t he be happy to listen during every call with his folks about how great she was? He was lucky to have a great girlfriend and great parents, who liked each other.

But when she got a proposition from another firm in the UK, Ben practically screamed yes. He should have thought about that earlier — an ideal chance for them to start on their own. He pulled off all of his acting abilities, pretending that he’s head over heels about business administration, sent his CV to every company in London, and prepared to interview as if his life depended on them.

In less than a month, he officially started his independent career — without mommy, daddy, or family money — following the girl he loved more than anything else in the world to a small but cozy apartment near the center of London.

* * *

  
11 months later, after a soul-crushing, dish-throwing, screaming-on-top-of-their-lung break-up, Ben found himself basically homeless and broke.

Okay, it was completely his fault. Obviously, Ben was the one who was throwing tantrums, who was bringing his work frustration home, who was irrationally jealous and completely insecure about all of her newfound friends and successful coworkers. The girl was impeccable as always — she invited Ben to all the events with her impeccable friends, she begged him to try couple’s therapy, she swore that she would never cheat on him and that all the men—and women—in her cycle didn’t undress her with their eyes. It was when she suggested going back to the States, after a particularly loud fight about her colleague with whom she needed to stay late in the office to finish an important project, Ben understood that he couldn’t take it anymore.

He could not hurt her. He’d hate himself if he did. But he was that close to doing so. He couldn’t compete with her or pretend that he was a golden boy Ben Organa-Solo, either. He loved her, but he also hated her, for how easy it was for her, how effortlessly she fit in his world where he was a stranger.

Ben left. He strode into their home office, took his laptop and a folder with his documents. And she didn’t stop him.

Maybe she tried to contact him the next few days, but Ben took a vacation, flew away, deleted all social networks and blocked her phone number.

A month later, he was particularly bored at work and he restored his Facebook page. He promised himself just to scroll through his timeline for a bit during his smoke break. Obviously, his fingers typed her name automatically. Obviously, he spent the rest of the day and most of the night tracking her online. There was nothing new from her. She was too good for such a silly thing as posting anything personal in social media. But she was tagged in a photo. That guy tagged her, the one from her office, the one Ben was particularly jealous about. In the photo, he was hugging her during some apparently very fun party. Ben almost crushed his phone on the wall. A nice protective case that she’d bought him saved it.

He threw away that fucking case that same day. He badly scratched his screen that same week. Who cares, it was just a phone. Ben could easily buy himself a new one. Then he remembered that he was short on money, and continued using the scratched one.

And the following week, he quit his job. There was some meeting where a smelly guy who acted like he really cared about their firm's investors gave Ben very thoughtful but negative feedback.

“Then I quit,” Ben said trying not to break the plastic armrests of an office chair.

His manager’s face changed, but then he contented himself. “It’ll probably be a better solution for all of us,” he said.

He didn’t even attempt to convince Ben to stay.

That day, after signing all the papers, Ben was commuting back home. He was jobless, alone, without his family money, and he should have felt shitty. He did, but not much more than he’d felt that morning preparing documentation for next quarter business development risks.

His bank account was almost empty, drained after his unexpected backpacking through Italy after their breakup. His new apartment was horrible. Their nice one, that Ben’s parents paid a deposit for, he’d left for the girl, not bothering to pick up all of his fancy clothes. Maybe right at that moment, her “just friend” was wearing the snug bathrobe that Leia bought them as a housewarming gift.

Ben was riding the stinky train. He felt shitty. But not shittier than when he lived with her and wore that fluffy grey robe. And that fact somehow improved his mood. But not for long.

Ben didn’t know what he was going to do in London, where everything—including everyone’s ascent—reminds him about her. He should have started job searching, but anything he found there wouldn't be enough to cover the rent.

In two weeks of misery, he was ready to give up and crawl back to his parent’s house, or maybe start drowning his misery in vodka with cocaine as an appetizer, ending up as his notorious granddad, like his mom was always afraid he would.

That was the moment when he got an unexpected call from an old friend.

“Hey, buddy, how’re you doing?” asked a familiar voice when Ben finally touched the green icon on the screen.

Poe was one of a few old friends he was able to tolerate right now. Their families were close, and they'd known each other almost since birth. Ben always had that special kind of jealousy-adoration for his slightly older friend. Poe both fit much more comfortably in their world and simultaneously was much more rebellious than Ben. He’d given Ben his first joint and his first bottle of strong liqueur. He’d taken a gap year and backpacked through Asia. He'd changed two colleges and quit more hobbies and jobs than Ben's ever had. Poe was everything Ben was not, yet he was the closest person Ben had to the best friend.

After a brief courtesy exchange, Poe said, “I heard you’re looking for a job.”

He didn’t specify where he'd heard that. Ben wasn’t making a secret from it. His parents knew that he’d quited. He edited his LinkedIn page. But the last time he’d talked with Poe was on Ben’s Birthday if you can call the text ‘happy b-day all the best’ a conversation. Yet Ben didn’t ask questions, curious about where this call was going.

It turned out to be pretty simple. Poe was living in Berlin at the moment, working for a tech startup. And what a “coincidence” that they just happened to have an open position.

“You just need to apply and pass the first interview,” Poe continued to convince him. “And after that, I’ll get a referral bonus, and you can politely tell them to fuck off. And if you like it and you get to the third interview, the bonus will be bigger. They will pay for your flight here, and we can party together in Berlin. And then decide what to do with your job. But no pressure, bro.”

Ben didn’t ask why Poe didn’t mention her even once. Apparently, everyone already knew that they’ve broken up. Once again, Leia and Han knew, and they weren’t known to be reclusive.

Ben agreed to the third interview three weeks after that call. His money stash was running low, and free tickets, and a hotel in Berlin, and a chance to see Poe and have a free dinner with him didn’t sound so bad. The company wasn’t that bad, either: no dress code, most of the people were around their age, his potential position was better than his previous one and it had potential for growth. It was the same old boring management job, but what other options did he have? Ask daddy and mommy for cash? Start from zero, drawing talentless pictures and dying as a starving artist?

The office was modern and stylish, open-space, with a gaming zone, puffy couch and blob-like chairs, free eco-friendly fruits, snacks, drinks, and even a cooler full of beer. His potential team was super friendly and genuinely excited to see him. The CEO was a woman in her late thirties with undeniable charisma and blue hair. 

Ben signed the contract the next day, still suffering from a hangover and having slept only for three and a half hours.

Sitting in the open terrace of a small bar in the unnaturally warm April evening, and discussing what Ben should have done for a smooth relocation, Poe surprised him once again proposing to move in with him.

“You won’t believe in such coincidences, but Maz’s apartment in Berlin is free now,” he said. Ben didn’t believe in it, but he didn’t voice that. “You remember Maz, right?” 

Of course Ben did. She was an old friend of their mothers. No one actually knew her real age, and she said a different number each time. She was one of their circle—rich and influential, but more eccentric than most of them. She had numerous ex-husbands, lovers, and boyfriends all across the globe, and with them, she had business interests worldwide, too. It was a known fact that she had a dozen real estate in Europe. They all even spent one summer vacation in her castle-like villa in Montenegro when Ben was in middle school.

So ‘unexpectedly’ Maz had a free apartment in Berlin. And she ‘unexpectedly’ agreed to rent it to Poe for family price. But it still was pretty expensive, as Poe claimed. But, he added, it has two bedrooms and Ben was ‘unexpectedly’ moving to Berlin.

“How fortunate is that?” exclaimed Poe, who sounded drunker than he should have been after two beers.

Ben was quiet. He suspects that it might have been the real reason why Poe'd called him, or maybe even Leia'd called Poe and suggested that. Or… there might have been multiple reasons, but why would Ben try to dig the truth?

He got a chance to start a new life here, with his friend, with a promising job, far from his previous mistakes.

* * *

The day is hot. The new temperature record, says his Twitter, and it’s only the beginning of June.

All the windows in the apartment are open. It’s tempting to go outside but it’s even hotter there than in the apartment.

“You owe me ten euro, Organa,” says Poe, dropping pizza boxes and passing him a cold bottle of ginger-strawberry lemonade.

“Add to my bill, Dameron,” smiled Ben. Moving completely drained his finances, and he can’t get his salary until he registers and opens the new bank account. So, Poe is his sugar roommate, so to speak.

They are sitting on the floor amidst half-assembled furniture and bags of Poe’s possessions. Maz’s apartment was unfurnished, so for the last two days, they were sleeping on Poe’s mattress, and using only things from his old apartment.

This morning, the first delivery finally arrived, and now, after enduring Ikea instructions for hours, they are having a break, expecting the second delivery any minute now.

“Maybe they won’t arrive today.” Poe’s voice sounds wistful. “Maybe the road melted from the heat and the delivery truck melted into it?”

“If you like sleeping with me you can just say so,” Ben jokes, gulping his drink and eating a folded piece of pizza. He has no idea why, but his mood is great.

“You see right through me. What can be better than a snoring heater near my side during the hottest night in recorded history?”

The chime of a buzzer interrupts their banter.

“I’ll go get them,” says Ben, rising, swallowing the rest of his slice. “If they know English as well as previous ones, it’s better to fetch them at the door than search through the building again.”

Ben goes to the door, right in time to see a truck and three guys with big boxes and give direction to them. They blocked the entrance completely. Ben sighs and takes one of the parcels, so it gets quicker.

There he sees him — a gorgeous red haired man, with a fashionable beard, who looks like a picture from a yacht selling catalog but with a takeaway package in his hand. He looks directly at Ben. It's like in movies where the whole world stops and romantic music starts playing when their eyes meet. His gaze is unusual. A mix of contempt and interest. That’s how one looks at a stray cat in their kitchen. The animal doesn’t belong there but you are interested in what they are doing there and they are kinda nice. Ben almost collapses over the threshold and comes back to reality.

“I’m sorry,” he screams over the noise of moving. “I’ll try to finish everything asap.”

“And if I wasn’t here, would you move slowly?” The guy raises his brow. 

The British accent smites Ben. It’s not like hers. It’s posh and classy, and reeks of privilege and self-confidence.

When Ben comes back, pretending that he needs to check if the delivery guys didn't forget any of their boxes in the truck, the gorgeous man isn't there.

Ben dreams of the man with fire-red hair that night. Ben rarely has sex dreams, and even more unusual are sex dreams about real people. He isn't even sure it's a sex dream. The dream is strange, where the man searches for Ben, Ben follows him, they kiss dissolving in the hands of each other.

Ben’s always had an interest in both genders. He had a couple of crushes for boys in high school, a few hot nights with his classmate at the beginning of his freshman year in college. During his almost four-year-long relationship with the girl—it still damn hurts to say her name, so Ben doesn’t —he thought that he might have overgrown his ‘bi-phase.’ But the night they broke up after he stormed off from their—no, her—apartment with nothing but his phone and that damn folder in his pockets, he ended up making out with a bearded guy with a funny North European name that Ben doesn’t remember. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to question. He accepted it. It's who he is. And in the current political climate, even his mother wouldn’t disapprove if Ben told her.

He meets his handsome redhead neighbor again a couple of days later.

Ben checks his mail in the hall of their house. He does it every day now. He didn’t get anything but bills and spam in London, but gets a lot of letters in Germany. Too many, actually. He was pissed off and ranted for two days when he found out that, for medical insurance, he needs to register online, then they send him a physical letter with approval, questionnaire, and an empty envelope so he can send the answer back to them.

It’s a part of his routine now. Nowadays, Ben always goes to the wall with mailboxes on the left side of the entrance before going to his apartment. He feels strangely happy when he sees that a housemaster has put a golden-colored label ‘B. Organa-Solo / P. Dameron’ on their mailbox. He’s sorting important letters from food delivery companies ads when he hears the opening of the door and someone stops near him, checking their mail, too.

First Ben sees long fingers with impeccable nails, an expensive watch and a light-green sleeve with a dotted pattern. Looking closely he understands that they aren’t dots, but small, black, curled cats. Ben smiles, turning his head and meets the gaze of the man whom he saw twice in his dreams this week.

“Are you moonlighting as a postboy, delivery guy?” smirks the good-looking stranger. 

Ben looks at him, not sure what to say. He examines his neighbor, whose look is pristine but stylish from perfect hairstyle to summer shoes. It’s clearly an office outfit, but Ben'd never wear something like that to his previous job. It’s not that the man looks unprofessional, but borderline too bold-fashionable for any office with the dress-code Ben has ever been too. The man dresses to impress and make a statement, not to be a grey mass of suits.

“No,” finally says Ben, smiling like an idiot when he gets that he must have been gawking for too long.

“So you are stealing the mail of—,” sternly says the man, steps closer looking at the sign, and frowns, “Organa-Solo-Dameron? Of all of them?”

“No!” exclaims Ben both angry at himself for acting like an idiot, and conscious about his own clothes that made the man think he’s not good to be living here. “It’s my box! I’m Organa-Solo!”

“I was joking,” says the man with a flat voice and straight face.

“Oh.” Ben is an idiot. “Yeah, I got that. We've just moved here. You saw me helping delivery guys.”

“Right.” The man closes his locker and turns to the direction of the elevator.

Ben notices the sign ‘A. Hux’ on his box before following him. Their apartment is on the first floor and usually, he takes stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, but today… today he can’t resist.

“I like the house so far,” Ben says, remembering his manners, and attempting small talk, so they aren't waiting in the silence. Ben sucks in small talk. When ‘A. Hux’ doesn't reply, he continues, “And Germany too. I moved from London.”

“Fascinating,” says the man raising his eyebrow. Ben hasn’t felt so awkward in a long time.

“I’m Ben, by the way,” he says in a vain attempt to save the conversation.

“Hux.”

“Just Hux? Like Cher or Madonna?” he smiles widely trying and failing to be funny and charming like Poe.

Hux frowns and opens his mouth—with very nice noble lips—to say something definitely unpleasant.

The elevator chimes and opens the door. It stops whatever Hux was going to tell Ben. He only sighs and goes inside. Ben steps in right behind him.

Their fingers almost touch when Hux presses six, the last floor, and Ben pushes one.

“Not very eco-friendly,” he hears.

“What?”

“Using a lift for the single floor. That is not very eco-friendly.”

The doors open again. Ben desperately wants to say something, tormented between wanting to argue with Hux about ecology, making a charming joke or giving the man a compliment. Neither feels right.

“Yeah, right,” he says instead, “Thanks, see you, Hux.”

“Have a nice evening, Ben,” Ben hears his voice from behind before the doors close.

* * *

Ben’s work is going great. It’s still a pretty dull job, but everyone is super friendly in the company and his salary comes with a relocation bonus. Most days, he goes for lunch with Poe and other guys from his team. Free beer makes Friday evenings even more exciting. And because there isn’t so much work for him, Ben got time for reading (sometimes even during work hours), sport and existential crisis.

He goes for a few dates. One is particularly successful. They give each other handjobs in the bar toilet, then have nachos and talk about modern art. Isn’t Ben living a dream?

He wishes to see Hux again. He’s embarrassed to admit it, but each day he lingers near the entrance, looking for the tall man with bright red hair through a glass door. It’s creepy and borderline stalking, but Ben checks Facebook searching for him. Thankfully for everyone, there are a lot of people with surname Hux, but no A. Hux. Otherwise, Ben would be stuck on his page forever.

He does see Hux a couple of times. They meet again near the mailboxes the next week after the first time. They say hi, and Ben goes to the stairs. Then again two weeks later. Ben comments on the weather. Hux sarcastically asks if Ben misses London.

“Nope,” Ben says, cringing. "I hated it."

Hux smiles. Seemingly genuinely.

“Yes, me too,” he says.

Ben hasn't seen Hux in almost two weeks. Then he goes for snacks and beer to the nearby kiosk during Poe and his ‘Netflix and high’ Friday night. On his way back, he sees Hux in the company of half a dozen equally stylish people. A tall blonde woman with a bottle of what seems to be champagne in her hand is particularly impressive. All of them look happy and tipsy.

Ben waits for them to enter the elevator and only then crosses the road back home. That night, lying on the sofa and pretending to listen to Poe’s monologue about world order and class revolution, Ben can’t stop analyzing it. Since when did he become so shy? This Hux guy might have expensive watches and fancy rooftop apartment, but Ben is Organa-Solo! Organa-Solo who left his family legacy to achieve something by himself, supplies Ben's cruel brain, and achieved exactly nothing.

Summer goes on. More work. More lunches. Ben volunteered to fix the layout of their site for a lack of designers in the company. One of his countless hobbies in school was drawing until he had to abandon it to concentrate on more beneficial stuff. The site for the resource efficiency-tracking tech startup is not the same as drawing his favorite comic characters, but it’s more interesting than creating business presentations for the resource efficiency-tracking tech startup.

Ben is in a particularly good mood when he goes home on Thursday night in the middle of July. He had a great day at work, the boss praised his design, his call with a potential client got canceled and he allowed himself to slack for half an hour in a pre-booked meeting room. Now he’s going home with two shawarmas, four beers, wireless earphones in his ears and humming to his favorite song. He is ready to turn to the stairs when he notices red hair in his peripheral vision. He turns to say hi to Hux and sees him with a man.

He’s tall and broad. Broder and taller than Hux, but probably around Ben's size. His arms in a sleeveless shirt are covered with tattoos. He also has tattoos on his legs and neck. Ben thought a few times about making tattoos, even drawing some sketches, but then he imagined what his mother's face would look like, and how his father would joke about him joining the gang.

Then Hux’s hand slides on the man's thigh.

It feels much worse than it should. Hux is a stranger. Ben has zero right to feel anything let alone anger and betrayal. He is moody for the rest of the night, drinking shitty tasteless beer, not answering Poe’s questions.

* * *

Ben forbids himself to think about A. Hux. It’s ridiculous — the man clearly is not interested, and he’s definitely not the last handsome redhead in the city.

“So how is it going with all of your matches, stud?”

“I deleted it,” he says quietly to Poe during a coffee break in the office.

“Really? Why? I thought it was your favorite app. You were winning all the time,” Poe says, much louder than needed.

Ben looks around. There is no one else in the kitchen, but it doesn’t have doors and people might hear him in the open-space.

Ben listened to Poe and installed Tinder during the weekend. The first day he spent swiping everyone right and savoring all the matches and messages he got. The next two days he spent hating himself for both being too picky in the era of free digital love and for agreeing to such an embarrassing affair in the first place.

“Call me old fashioned, but it's not for me.” Ben forces a smile. It must be something wrong with him if he seriously considered using an app for finding a couple.

“So a quickie in a bar is now called being old-fashioned, huh?” Poe laughs. Ben chokes on his ice-cold coffee. He feels his cheeks are burning, and his hands slightly tremble. He loves Poe, but sometimes Ben wants to punch him.

“Can you stop screaming?”

“Ugh,” Poe makes a vague noise that can mean anything, but thankfully changes his tone to a conspicuous whisper, “Your loss. More babes for me.”

“We have a different taste for ‘babes’,” Ben fakes a chuckle and goes to his table.

His phone chimes almost immediately.

Poe >> btw yesterday when you went to sleep early i found a super hot guy there

Ben doesn’t answer. He’s known Poe for too long not to know what will happen next. And he’s right. In the next minute, more texts arrive.

Poe >> but his face was familiar

Poe >> I even thought we slept together before. You know like with that girl i told you about

Poe >> but then I thought nope i’d remember him

Poe >> i thought maybe one of our clients or maybe we met at the conference. But that guy has such a unique red hair

Ben almost chokes on his coffee. He’s never told Poe about his silly crush on Hux, but for a second he feels like that time when his parents found out about him pinning for his classmate and gave him a lecture on both seduction and safe sex — he was thirteen.

Poe >> so i was looking at his profile and scratching my head about who he might have been. i was sure i saw him before. 100% sure

Poe >> and then I got it

Ben << Who was he?

Poe << remember when I’ve told you about our strict housemaster?

Ben >> Yes.

Ben does. More or less. It was around their first week of living together. It was a weekend and they finally finished assembling the last piece of furniture and celebrated it. On Monday morning they both had a terrible hangover. Poe volunteered to go for aspirin and shawarma. When he came back, he told Ben, who was suffering from the worst headache, some ridiculous story about their housemaster who’d lectured him about sorting the garbage and about their delivery truck blocking the entrance.

Poe used all of his charms, but the guy continued frowning then asked Poe something about his contract and other tenants, so still a bit drunk, Poe lied that Ben was his fiance. Ben might confuse details. 

Later Ben checked it and it didn't make any sense because all of their docs are fine and they live in Maz’s apartment completely legally. He’d never risk jeopardizing his family by something that stupid. But every time he sees their housemaster Martin he always informs him about how happy they are with his fiance. Poe and he find it tremendously funny.

Poe << it was him. I swiped right our strict housemaster and he was like less than 1 mile away, so he probably lives near our house too

Poe << such a coincidence right? 

Ben thinks about Martin. He was not so much older than them, maybe in his mid-thirties. He was ok — not ugly, but not hot either – just a regular man. And his hair was light brown, almost blond, definitely not red.

Ben has a bad feeling, typing back.

Ben << Did Martin dye his hair :D?

Poe >> Martin from the finance team? no? why?

He feels even weirder. And he can’t stop thinking of Hux for some reason.

Ben << No, Martin the housemaster.

Poe >> :D :D :D no, not Martin

Poe >> I know Martin, he gave me our keys. he’s nice. the other one. Maybe his title is not a housemaster. Dunno a house manager? tall red hair, bearded, stylish, hot!!!!!

He types the question, somehow already knowing the answer.

Ben << What was his name?

Poe >> No idea

Poe >> But his profile says something stupid. Probably a nickname

Poe >> i can’t check we didn’t match

Poe >> Hugs, or smthg

* * *

After that, Ben once again craves to ‘accidentally’ meet Hux. He needs to explain that he’s not engaged. Hux probably doesn’t care. Maybe he doesn’t even remember that. But when Ben tosses and turns in his bed not able to stop thinking about his handsome neighbor not able to keep his hands from touching himself, he likes to imagine that if he explains that'll give Ben a chance with him. 

He again lingers near mailboxes, checking for letters two times each day, making it as long as possible. 

He hopes to see Hux and—as it happens when two people live in the same relatively small building—Ben eventually does.

It’s the middle of July and the weather is even hotter than before. Ben thoroughly checks the mail on his way to the climbing hall. He turns to the exit and almost collides with the handsome tall redhead.

If not for his hair, Ben wouldn’t recognize him. After two weeks ago, when Ben saw him with the tattooed man, Hux shaved his beard and switched to more summery clothes, going with shorts and a polo shirt with a flowery print. Even his hair changed. Instead of his usual gelled back, it falls to his shoulders, looking longer and somehow lighter.

“Hi,” Ben smiles.

Hux smiles back. He must be in a good mood because it looks much warmer than his usual smirk.

“Hi, there. You must be more careful and look around — a big guy like you can easily sweep me off my feet. Or you might miss something interesting,” Ben can’t believe his playful tone but then, to shock him even more, Hux winks. “Or someone.”

Ben swallows, looking at Hux as if he sees him for the first time: from light blue flip-flops to matching light blue loose shorts to pink polo with big blue orchids and finally to his gorgeous lips, lingering on them. He even smells differently — flowery and sweet.

He masters his courage and blurs out, “That’d be a disaster to miss you.”

“Yes, it would,” Hux smiles widely, noticeably satisfied with an answer giving him a once-over. “To which sport are you going so you get such impressive muscles?”

“Climbing. And high-intensity interval training. And running.”

“It must be exhausting. But it definitely pays off.” Hux looks like he’s going to touch Ben’s arm changing his mind mid-action, and straighten his hair instead. “Anyway… Climbing sounds interesting. I always wanted to try.”

Ben forbids himself to overthink it and says, “I can train you. It’s easy. And the climbing hall is not far from here. I can wait for you while you change.”

Hux chuckles. Light and sincerely. Then he frowns looking more like his regular self.

“I’d love to, big guy, but I have plans for today. How about next time?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“See you around.”

Ben keeps smiling all the way to the tram stop and only then he remembers that he forgot to tell Hux, that Poe isn’t his fiance. But maybe if Hux flirts like that, he doesn’t care?

* * *

Okay, that’s the new level of pathetic even for Ben. He checked the mail three times already. He went for a very short run. Then grocery shopping. Then one more time to bio-mark “because only they have my favorite lemonade, Poe.”

It’s not like Poe asks questions. He’s too busy to notice Ben’s strange behavior: goes to shower, drinks iced water and googles ‘cheap not crowded pool Berlin,’ complaining about the hot weather.

It’s on his way back home with lemonade when Ben seriously thinks to man-up and just call to Hux’s intercom or install Tinder and go through everyone until he finds Hux and swipes him right.

It’s insanity. Ben doesn’t even know the man. He just needs a good laid, as Poe often tells him, and concentrate on something more important like his career or not answering his parents questi—

Ben stops mid-thought because he sees Hux. He’s in the same shorts but in a different t-shirt with some anime characters, his hair is half up in messy pony-tail and his eyes are gluten into his phone.

“You need to be careful or you might miss someone interesting,” Ben says the phrase he prepared for their meeting.

Hux pouts, but when he looks up and sees him he smiles, taking his AirPods out and putting them into a case that looks like a pink popsicle. 

“Oh, big boy, hi, how was your climbing?”

“Great thanks,” Ben bites his lip and adds “But it’d be better if you were there.”

“Definitely. Looking like I’m falling and struggling does make any activity better.”

“I won’t let you fall.”

“You and a safety cable.”

“Actually... I’m going to bouldering. It’s a type of climbing but without a safety cable.”

“Great. It's established you want me dead. And I thought we had a connection.” Hux makes an exaggeratedly sad face, gazing at Ben.

That’s the moment. Ben must just answer something funny and then invite Hux to dinner, or to a bar, or to the movies.

“Why can’t I leave you for a literal minute without you talking to strangers?” he hears a crisp voice from behind. The crisp familiar voice.

“Armie, darling, he’s not a stranger—” Hux starts answering while Ben turns around and sees Hux!

Bearded Hux, in smart casual outfit with dashes of playfulness and a big fabric bag, stays near the elevator. Only his hair is a bit different, not gelled, laying loose, but shorter than another Hux’s near Ben.

“It’s not that hard riddle if you think about it for a bit,” says bearded Hux looking at Ben’s undeniably surprised face and smirks. “Ben, let me introduce you to my twin brother, Techie. Techie, Ben Organa-Solo, my neighbor.”

Twins! That does make perfect sense.

“Oh, I should have guessed that you met my brother,” says Techie. “My bad, for not clearing it. I kinda assumed that if you knew Armie, you would understand that I’m not him. But knowing him and that he’s not very friendly with neighbors...”

“Yeah, I should have guessed.”

“Yeah, you should have,” agrees Hux, piercing him with his gaze. “We need to go, Techie, or we’ll be late. Phasma will drown us.”

Techie nods, looks down, putting his hands in his pockets, and swinging from toes to heels, then he smirks wickedly, completely different from his brother's arrogant grin.

“Ben, do you want to go with us?” Techie stares directly at Ben's eyes.

"I'm—" The question catches him unprepared, and without thinking he looks at A. Hux searching for a clue.

He notices how brothers exchange glares as if they are speaking telepathically, and Hux eventually huffs a restrained laugh.

“Stop your ogling him, darling. Ben is an engaged man. It’s not nice to invite him without inviting his future husband.”

“Future husband?” Techie was partially surprised and partially he seems to be amused.

“Yeah, about that...” Ben doesn't understand why this situation feels so awkward, but that definitely not how he wanted to talk with Hux. “Poe and I are not engaged. We aren’t even a pair. He just joked about it. He told me recently. But yeah, not together. Just two single old friends sharing one apartment with two completely separate bedrooms. The bottom line is I don't have a fiance. Or plans for today.”

With every additional line, Ben feels more like a moron, practically feeling how his already weak chances with Hux are evaporating. And with Techie, too, for that matter.

Ben stares at Hux, trying to guess what he thinks. At the same time, in his peripheral vision, he sees Techie looking from him to his brother.

“It’s a very strange joke,” says Hux, raising his brows slightly.

“It really is.” Ben hears Techie's amused voice from his left.

"Yeah, his sense of humor is weird," agrees Ben wanting to fall through the ground and stop this humiliation.

“Anyway.” Techie circles him and stops near Hux, putting his head on Hux's shoulder. “Do you and your funny, not fiancé want to join us? We are going to a lake with friends. There are two spots in our car. Today is a perfect day for that.”

Ben sees that Hux is going to say something, so he exclaims, "Yes, great idea. Just wait for me for a minute, I'll grab my stuff."

And before any of them might stop him, Ben hurry to his apartment, leaving stern whispers behind his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments/kudos are always welcome and appreciated!
> 
> Huge thanks to [@saltandrockets ](https://twitter.com/saltandrockets) ([her ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltandrockets)) for beta work and all her kind words!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://mysticmilks.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/mystic_milks)  
> don't hesitate to ask me anything [curiousCat](https://curiouscat.me/mystic_milks)
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you like this one, you can check my other fics -[drop the curtain, blow out the candles ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462159)  
> Moder AU-[my face above the water, my feet can't touch the ground](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928956)  
> Moder-au [Up All Night ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18018218/)  
> post-tlj [you are burned up before you know it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17705078)


	2. Questioning yourself

Ben barges into his own apartment at full speed as if a swarm of starving zombies is chasing him. He hears the sound of running water from the bathroom. It's perfect — Poe is in the shower again and there is no need to come up with a trivial lie for him. Ben can't take his best friend and fake-fiance with him. It's selfish, he knows that, but if smooth Poe was nearby, he’d have little to no chance to impress either of the twins.

Not stopping in the hallway, Ben dashes to his room, searching for a towel and swim shorts. He shoves them into his sports bag and cursing at himself when he can't find his sunscreen amidst the mess that is his room now. When he lived with his parents, he was forced to keep his private space clean. After a small reprise in college, he started to date, and then lived together with his ex, and she imposed even stricter rules for keeping their home clean. Now no one but Ben himself tells him what to do. As a result, no one including Ben can find anything.

Continuing the search, Ben doesn't understand, how could he have been such an idiot and mistaken Hux with his brother. His guts were screaming that something wasn't right, but he didn't listen to his intuition. He was dazzled like Cinderella at her first ball with a sudden change in "Hux's" attitude. Such a romantic fool! He wanted to believe- disregarding all the facts, that Hux might reciprocate his feelings. Now Hux is angry because Ben flirted with his brother. But Techie was also interested in getting to know him better. Ben didn't imagine that, right?

Ben realizes that he's frozen in one spot with his sunscreen in hand. It's not a time for overthinking and his usual inner monologues full of self-doubt in front of an imaginary audience. He might get the real answers if he hurries up. Hux looks like a man who won't wait for more than a couple minutes.

"Is everything fine, bro?” Poe's voice reaches him from the bathroom when Ben approaches the exit. “I started worrying that you’d collapsed from overheating somewhere in the city."

"Yeah, nope, everything great, bro. I have plans, need to run, see you in the evening." he closes the door behind himself, not wanting to deceive his closest friend any more than absolutely necessary.

Ben sprints through the building’s hallway and prays to the higher powers that Hux twins didn’t leave without him. He slows down at the end of the hallway and takes a few deep inhales before turning towards the mailboxes, where only five minutes ago he spoke with the brothers. The crushing disappointment fills his chest instantly.

No living soul stands near the house entrance. He was away for far too long, or maybe A. Hux didn't even intend to wait for him. The guy just wants to spend quality time with his brother and his cool friends — he has no need to tag along with some weirdo of a neighbor.

When Ben is ready to admit his defeat, and turn around to his apartment, he notices Techie is waving to him from a brand new dark-gray Nissan Leaf parked on the opposite side of the street. 

Before leaving the building, Ben makes an effort to hide his excitement, knowing perfectly well that all his emotions are written with big glowing letters across his face. He tries to look composed nevertheless and goes to them. He comes closer and hears soft electronic music playing from the speaker. Hux is behind the wheel, and Techie occupies the front seat, sipping from a big blue smoothie, leaving Ben no choice but to settle for the back seat.

"Where is your fake husband, Ben?" asks Hux, starts the engine and drives straight. "Was he busy?"

"Fake fiance, but yeap." Ben isn't sure if Hux is mocking him. "He has other plans." Which is technically not a lie — rewatching The Office is a plan for sure.

“What a pity,” says Techie half-turning to him. Neither his voice nor his face supports this claim. On the contrary, he's beaming. “I heard he's smooth, funny and hot," he adds, squinting at the driver’s seat.

Ben dodges the issue. He wants to find out about where they're going and who else will be there, and what Ben's role is in it, instead, he asks Techie to tell more about himself. That's an easy change of topic because Hux's brother enjoys retelling his life story.

Ben quickly finds out that Techie is a writer and editor for a fashion magazine.

"Before that, I was a model," he tells Ben proudly, while his brother sighs.

"Techie in fact still is an Instagram celebrity, and you Ben can find him if you want. If overuse of filters, and questionable diet tips are your cup of tea. Also, my dear brother has a blog about equality, relationship, and lifestyle," adds Hux with the mix of pride and sibling mockery.

"Now I also have a vlog, you should check it, darling," he replies to Hux, seemingly unaware of his teasing. "Anyway, Ben, I'm currently working in the Paris branch."

He continues to describe how wonderful Paris is, and how better than Berlin it is in every possible aspect but prices. He's visiting his favorite and only brother Hux for a week, while his chic, but tiny apartment, almost in the center of the city —oh, Ben prices are crazy there, you can't imagine but it's worth every cent—is under renovation.

Techie is constantly turned to face him, smiling, and joking, while Hux is mostly silent as if he's a high-class chauffeur.

Smirking back at him, Ben can't help but speculate if Hux is angry or not at him for joining and at his brother for inviting. He meets Hux's eyes only once in the rear-view window, and it seems that he's interested in their interaction.

Ben's subconscious screams that Hux is actually jealous and Ben indeed has a chance with him, while his logical mind suggests that Hux is protective of his brother. Although, from what Ben sees, and what Techie happily tells him about himself, it's more likely that Hux needs to protect the rest of the world from Techie.

Around fifteen minutes passes and they stop near a modern house. Ben notices the gorgeous tall blond he saw once in the company of Hux. In the light of day, she looks even more stunning — a semitransparent, slim red maxi dress amplifies her beauty.

“Move away,” she orders Techie in an annoyed tone, opening his door.

"Hux," whines Techie.

He argues for a second, referring to some old traditions, and previous trips together, but after she repeats the order one more time he complies, grinning at Ben. This smile and all his facial expressions make Ben blush.

“And who else did you pick up?” she asks Hux, not looking at Ben.

“Ben — Armie’s neighbor,” says Techie, climbing into the back seat and peeking between the seats, “Phasma — Armie’s associate and co-owner of his firm. That’s what these two use instead of 'friend'. Don't make them trick you with their ostentatious coldness, they love each other more than they love me.”

"Great," she says to Hux ignoring Techie, "your brother takes random people from your house, and I'm not allowed to take Jane."

"Hux doesn't bother to learn the actual name of her partners because they change too often," whispers Techie, not low enough for people in the front seat not to hear. "That joke is so old, that she started to call her lovers Jane too. Behind Jane’s back obviously."

"One of my current Janes knows this joke," she says, still not looking at them, and scrolling through her phone.

"One of?" Ben asks, smiling, pretty sure they are joking.

"I have two Janes now, and one potential John, and one back-up Jane. Back-up Jane is the one who knows about 'Jane' joke. What’s with the face, neighbor?"

Not that Ben hasn't heard about people in open relationships. He just has never met them or ever known someone who talked freely about it in real life, only in tv-series or in articles.

"No, nothing just thinking about if it's hard to keep track of all of them."

Phasma is opening her mouth to say something. Ben guesses that it'll be something unpleasant judging from her frowning face.

Before she has a chance to voice it, Techie interrupts, "Not harder than keeping track of your gym activities, Ben. Do you confuse your running with your height-intensive thingy?"

"Yeah, nope. It's high-intensity interval training, by the way," Ben says. He's thankful to Techie that he saved him from her wrath, at the same time he feels way out of his depth.

"Where do you go for it?" she asks, with mild interest.

"The small gym near Alexander Platz..."

"The one in the basement?"

"Yeah."

"I go there too. My potential John is a trainer there. Works on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday."

"Tom?”

He is one of Ben's trainers, a handsome man with partially grey hair, and a face from the cover of a magazine. Not Ben's type, but undeniably handsome.

"Exactly," she smiles victoriously, checking Ben's face.

After that, they speak about gyms, different activities they have been attending and what they want to try. Techie is silent. Sport is not his element, as he says. Hux adds some comments from time to time, praising Phasma's physical strength and dedication. He acts differently than during all of their previous meager encounters. He is more casual, laid back, and even friendlier.

"Where the hell do you think you are heading?" Phasma turns to Hux, in the middle of explaining sports drinks to Ben.

"Phi, we discussed it. It's important that he feels comfortable—"

"We planned a chill day on the beach, just us! Then your brother takes his eye candy. You take your child-prodigy. If you want me as your enemy you are trying too hard, luv."

"What is going on?" whispers Ben to Techie.

Techie leans to him, their arms meet, his warm breath caresses the skin on Ben's neck, "I have no idea," he says, while his lips are touching Ben's ear.

"The discussion is over," Hux voice projects command.

Ben sees Phasma raising her brow, but she doesn't say anything.

"We are picking up Phasma's and my coworker. He's new. He’s a good kid, just moved to Berlin, and he needs a bit of support. And our firm needs him, so I'm trying to make him fit in. All of you play nice, do not make me blush," he's looking at Techie, then at Phasma, then at Ben, smiling at him.

"Yes, general Hux," say Techie and Phasma simultaneously, and half-jokingly.

"Good," says Hux, parking, "There he is. Mitaka, come here!"

A short guy who must be in his mid-twenties, maybe a bit younger than Ben, is approaching their car. He has short black hair, a grey t-shirt, and navy shorts. He looks nice, but compared to all of them, even to Ben, he is modest. That baffles Ben. He expected someone with tattoos or pink hair. But if Hux values him, there must be something interesting in this Mitaka.

Hux introduced everyone, calling Ben 'their friend'. The guy says a polite hi and sits in the back. That prompts Techie to slide closer to Ben. Even too close, so their hips and their naked ankles touch.

Mitaka seems nice, but very shy. It's mostly Hux who talks now, describing how talented this guy is. From his speech, Ben concludes that Hux and Phasma's firm deals in art, and that Mitaka was an intern who was recently promoted because of his ability to find new promising artists.

Ben isn't entirely sure, because all the way to the beach Techie is subtly rubbing his leg, with his own, muddling his thoughts, and making Ben’s blood flow away from his brain.

* * *

Ben feels an acute pang from his conscience when he sees the beach. The place looks exactly like the one Poe was searching for. It's nice and not so crowded, there are trees that give shade, and kiosks with soft drinks, hot dogs and alcohol and a vendor from how you can rent sports equipment, kayaks, and paddleboards in the far end.

They put their beach mats in the shade of the tree, and everyone leaves changing in turns. Not that it's necessary to go to a small booth. It isn't officially a nudist beach, but almost half of the people are naked. It's the third time Ben comes to the lakes near Berlin, and he still can't get used to groups of senior citizens in their birthday suits playing cards, or beautiful young couples completely stripped staring at their smartphones.

“Now I understand why you are here,” says Phasma, when he comes back. She is the only one sitting on the mat in a revealing silver bikini, looking like she came from a 'Health and sport' stock photo. “Impressive body.”

“Thanks,” Ben says, avoiding all the nude people, looking nowhere in particular.

“That’s the moment when you return a compliment.”

“You look gorgeous. You know that. With all your Johns and Janes,” he says to her, feeling weirdly shy and brazen at the same time.

“There can’t be too much praise, Hux’s neighbor.”

“I’m Ben, by the way.”

“Nah, if Hux doesn’t want to remember the names of my short term partners, we need to wait and see if I should care to remember yours.”

“You are mean,” Ben smirks. "And A. Hux is mean too. You two are like popular kids in high school movies."

“Well thank you, hunk. Keep going and maybe I’ll reconsider your status. And  _ 'A' _ Hux?”

“Well, Techie is also Hux, so—”

"Oh, no. Don't say that or you'll lose all your points. Hux is Hux, or Mr. Hux, only the people whom he allows are calling him other than that."

"Why? What does that A even stand for?" Ben remembers Techie using  _ Army _ or something like that.

“Ask him.”

“He ignored the question when I did.”

“And you think I’d tell it to a rando behind his back?” she raises her perfect eyebrow, “You are losing points. But if you are one curious cat, go ask Techie. He’ll tell you the whole story and add a full glass of fictional drama to it. Oh, Mitaka!”

Mitaka comes to them, noticeably trying not to look at people.

“Where did you lose your boss and his evil, wicked, no-good twin?”

“They are buying drinks,” he mumbles, but before he finishes it, Ben already notices them.

The Hux brothers appear from the row of kiosks with colorful cocktails in both hands. In swimming shorts, they look even less identical. Ben doesn’t get how he could have ever mixed them up. Hux wears long grey shorts, he's broader and a bit taller, and has a flowery geometrical tattoo on his shoulder and a fire-red happy trail. Techie looks like an Instagram model, completely out of this world: he's in ultra-short, provocative 70s style shorts, his body is lean, with only perfect muscles with zero fat and hair, he doesn’t have any tattoos, but he does have nipple piercings.

And both of them are straight from Ben’s most wild wet dreams.

“Like it?” Techie whispers, leaning to his ear when they all sit on the mat, sipping cold cocktails, “you keep looking at it.”

Techie points with his eyes to his piercing. 

“It’s interesting.”

“Look closer. It’s okay, Ben. It won’t bite,” he smirks “I might, but only because you are so delicious.”

Ben draws his eyes down, sure that his cheeks are flamingly red. He's also sure that everyone else in their group will notice it, even though they are currently discussing galleries.

There, on a small and pale pink nipple, Ben sees it. It’s not a ring as he thought previously but a cat head, made from a thin wire.

“Oh, cute,” he says.

“Right?”

It's such a tiny and endearing thing that Ben is not able to suppress a smile. The said smile disappears when he catches Hux's eyes, and sees his slightly raised eyebrow.

"We should take a break," lazily says Phasma, stretching, "I'm going to swim, who's with me?"

"I'll, if the fair lady allows me to join her," says Techie "Ben? Mitaka? Dear brother?"

"Yes, thank you," says Mitaka.

Ben is ready to agree when he hears the crisp voice, "Next time. I'll stay with our belongings. Ben, would you keep me company?” Hux turns to him waiting for the answer.

To his side he sees Techie, looking at him too.

Not that decision is easy, but...

"Yeah, I'll stay. I need to finish my drink."

"Ben?" Hux asks when they are left alone, "Are you busy with that drink of your?"

A tiny smirk on the corners of his lips tells Ben that he needs to play along.

"It depends."

"Oh. It depends, huh? On what, one might want to ask."

"On how much more important the said distraction is compared to this wonderful strawberry shake."

"It's very important. In the long run, it's a life or death situation."

"In that case how can I serve you, Mr Hux?"

"My back needs to be saved from deadly rays of the nearest star," he says, almost seriously, throwing a tube of sunscreen at Ben's direction.

That's a sudden turn of events. Not that he wasn't even asked for that by just friends. But Hux isn't a friend at all.

"Any time now," Hux turns his back to him. It's graceful and strong at the same time, like the rest of him. The column of stars not bigger than a coin each goes from his nape along his spine to his scapula.

Ben rubs cream into him, feeling like putting a hand on his dancing partner for the first time in middle school.

“So no fiancé?” Ben can see the only part of Hux's face when he asks that.

“No.”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Good,” the visible half of his noble lips smirks again.

His skin is pale and hot. Ben can feel his breathing under his hand. He is torn apart between being appropriate and touching Hux as carefully as possible and wanting to show off his exceptional—according to some— massage skills.

"You have nice hands, Ben."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Hux mocks him, "Handsome hands. And they seem to be skilled."

"Thanks."

"Do you need my help?" asks Hux when he's done.

"Yes," mumbles Ben "Please."

"Oh, a well-behaved man, who knows magic words. Are you okay if I get on top of you?"

There is something in his voice, something that feels like warm embers in the pit of his stomach, something that makes him harder, and makes his toes curl.

"It's not okay," he says staring at Hux's green-grey eyes, "I'd prefer it."

Hux looks expectedly at him as if daring to say something, to back off, to say he's joking, instead Ben lies on his belly.

A few extremely long seconds pass before he feels that Hux straddles him from behind.

“So, Ben," Hux asks, covering his shoulders with cream "how did you end up single and in Berlin?”

Ben tells him his story, omitting the most embarrassing details, and relishing Hux’s touches. He makes it sound like he’s adventurous and wants to live in different cities before settling down, not like he’s running away all of his life.

"Berlin is a great place if you seek freedom," answers him Hux, rubbing his lower back, "you can be yourself here."

They talk more, sunbathing near each other until the rest of the group come and they all play 'guess a character name', which quickly turns into the discussion of the latest European arthouse.

The next time they go swimming, Mitaka offers to stay behind, and all four of them play volleyball in the lake. Phasma partners with Hux and Ben with Techie.

Seemingly accidentally Techie bumps into him. They are on the same team, but they fight over the ball all the time. Not that Ben isn't happy about his not so subtle touches. If Hux wasn't near, Ben would have been even more enthusiastic. But Hux is.

They rest ashore, hiding in the tree shade, relaxing and drying up.

"What do you think about an ice lolly?” Techie asks him “Or you are an ice cone person?"

Everyone else is busy. Phasma and Mitaka are discussing exhibitions again, while Hux is reading on his phone.

"Both are fine, I think," If it's innuendo Ben doesn't get it, "But if you’re treating, I'll go with a fruit juice ice pop."

"Armie, darling, I want ice cream, let's grab some?" says Techie.

"My wallet is in the bag. The kiosk is over there," answers Hux, typing.

"Armie, we are your guests. Come with me and help me. Pretend to be nice and kind."

"Ten minutes."

"Put your phone away. You promised to spend time with us."

"Nothing can stop when you want something, darling?" Hux stands up. His voice is still soft, but there are hints of very good hidden steel in it.

"You're right,  _ darling _ . Mitaka, come with us too. We are together for hours and yet I don't know anything about you."

Techie practically grabs both his brother and the poor ex-intern, and pulls them for the desert.

“Stop enjoying it!” Phasma snorts, when they are away.

“What?”

“How they fight over you. Stop enjoying it.”

“I’m not—”

“Save it. I don’t actually care. It’s just your face. It’s too happy. You all are adults, and if three of you like this game it’s your problem. If something goes wrong believe me, you’ll be the one who suffers. They might seem playfully fighting, but in the end, they will kill for each other.”

“Good to know.”

“Let’s hope it won’t get to that. Better tell me more about your climbing thing.”

The day is great. They swim a lot and play in the water, where now both Huxs non-accidentally touch him. Closer to sunset they rent paddle boards and go far from the beach.

Ben is perfectly happy. It strangely reminds their family trips to Disneyland of his childhood, when he was so excited during the day that all he was able to do was smile.

* * *

On the way back the atmosphere in the car is filled with pleasant exhaustion. Everyone seems to be content. Even Phasma's voice is softer and not that mean when she discusses future projects with Hux.

It's already dark outside, and Ben can stop himself from yawning.

"You can put your head on my shoulder if you want to nap," whispers Techie, "Like he did."

Ben looks at Techie’s left and sees Mitaka sleeping, laying on him, with his mouth open.

"Thanks. But I–. I still have some energy left."

"If you say so, big guy."

Yeah, they all are tired. Even that exchange is not as playful, as their previous chats.

"Do you want to lay on my shoulder?" Ben smiles back, suppressing one more yawn. Being smooth and sleepy is not an easy task.

"Oh, I'm okay. I can go all night if you know what I mean."

"Sure," smirks Ben.

Around these strange people, he feels safe. Around them, he feels like he doesn't need to pretend. No one cares — they have more important things in their life than judging Ben's decisions. It's like with Poe but better. His best friend always was and always will be part of his family, and all the expectations that come with it.

Maybe they did pretend, and they act, and pose, but instead of Organa-Solos, and people of their cycle, they do it with honesty and it makes sense, thinks Ben. Even today with the playful flirting between him and twins had more truth than in the last six month of his previous relationship.

Ben did doze, somewhere on their way. He partially remembers saying goodbye to Mitaka, and Techie moving—but only a bit— from him.

Then they part with Phasma, while she promised to find Ben, so he can give her bouldering lessons.

It's way after midnight when three of them enter the main door of their house. Ben can’t even conceive how everything has changed from this morning. When he woke up today he was pining for one gorgeous man with whom Ben was sure his chances were around zero. Now there are two men, who turned out to be ever smarter, funnier, and hotter than he dreamed. And both appear to be into Ben.

"That was my first time driving a car with a manual gear, of course, I didn't know that you need to push it up before going reverse," Ben concludes his story about his last vacation in Italy. The twins laugh — Techie giggles and Hux makes half-huff-half-snort, an obvious attempt to conceal his amusement.

He and twins are lingering near the elevator for some time now, sharing old road trip anecdotes. Ben knows it can’t last forever. He’ll need to say his goodbyes, and sooner than he prefers.

He really wants to ask for Hux's number. He simply can't do it in front of Techie. That'd be rude.

On the other hand, Techie is there for only three more days, and that's Ben's chance to know him closer, as Techie put it.

He's stuck in a strange relationship-Schrödinger situation, where he simultaneously has two potential dates, and zero at the same time. That's the crazy duality of Ben's sex life.

"Thank you for inviting me," says Ben, when the pause becomes too long, and no one volunteers to start a new story. 

"How about a glass of wine before sleep?" suggests Techie. "What do you think?"

"We have your yoga master class at six in the morning," reminds him Hux, raising his perfect eyebrows, "You said we couldn't miss it. You, apparently, already bragged about it to all your subscribers."

"Right. Fuck, it’s in five hours. And after it is that exhibition—" Techie looks sad, "Oh Ben, we have had the whole day planned for tomorrow. And even I, Techie Hux, can't get one more ticket," he pauses studying Hux's face, "A small house party tomorrow evening, huh?"

Ben doesn't know what to say. All the cells in his body scream yes, but would he fit in with their fancy artistic friends? Today was great, but the last thing he needs is to shame himself in front of both Huxs.

“Wine, hot summer night, my rich brother has a patio with a city view. What to think about? Believe me, you'll be impressed.”

"You will be," agrees Hux and smiles. Not smirking. Not grinning, but smiles. Almost friendly, "I'm proud of my patio."

* * *

"Yeah, awesome, super, thanks," immediately blurts out Ben.

Ben closes his apartment door and slides onto the floor near it. It was a great day, but it leaves him puzzled, with more questions than his mind is ready to proceed. He has all the feelings, and he has never been great in dealing with them.

Poe comes from the balcony with a wide smile, and a spicy chicken wing in his hand, wearing only his pajama pants. A distinct smell of weed enters the room with him.

"Hey, buddy, what is going on?" He grabs Ben's hand, pulling him up, "Get at the sofa and tell all your grievances to your wise old friend Poe."

Reluctantly Ben stands up and follows him. He vaguely tells Poe about his situation. He doesn't mention names, or that two guys he's into are twins, or even brothers. Ben just says that he met two friends, and he likes them both. And they seem to be interested in Ben.

"So there is one cute and free-spirited, who definitely wants you?" mumbles Poe, laying next to Ben. "And the second one is also hot, but more serious, who might want you or might just dislike you being with the first one?"

"Yeap."

"And you are sure they aren't a thing, huh?"

"Positive. Definitely. One hundred percent."

"Okay-okay, so what's the problem? Once again?"

"I'm not sure how the other one will react if I make a move for any of them."

"And they are that close? And you are sure–?"

"Yes, I'm," Ben interrupts, "They are not a thing. Zero chemistry. No romance."

“Okay, buddy, don't hustle. Let's agree that you are right. Let's forget about them. So what do you want?”

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want from them?"

"I–"

"No gross details, gentlemen don't talk about other gentlemen," Poe giggles for some time into Ben's shoulder, "What result do you expect?"

“I don’t know.”

"What do you mean? Do you want the cute one? The bossy one? One, then another? Both?"

"I—" Ben pauses searching for the right words. "It's too complicated. I don't know."

“Maybe it’s time to find out,” Poe moves to Ben's chest and stares at his eyes, as if he wants to hypnotize him, “I love you, Ben. You know that.”

Poe is very touchy, as always when he's high.

“I love to live with you, to hang out with you, to work with you,” Poe leans toward him and rubs his face on Ben's, like an amorous cat. If that was the first time, Ben might be confused, but he knows it's okay by now.

“I know, bro,” Ben huffs and pets Poe's hair.

“I do, don’t laugh,” he says, but he's also giggling. Damn, Poe is hilarious like that.

“But I feel like you are lost,” Poe continues when he can talk again, “I admire Leia. Your mom is great! Like the best!"

"I know."

"And your dad is great! Great man! Great dad! I love him like my uncle."

"I know."

"And your—"

"Don't say her name!"

"I wasn't going to, but whatever, dude," he shows his hands, “Anyway… screw all of them! Who cares about them! It’s your life and you should live it! Make mistakes, that is the only way to find what you reaaaaaaly want. Like, I feel that you are stuck between protesting against them, and chasing the image of the perfect son you think they want.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Seriously, Ben, live a bit!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut the last chapter into two because I'm a terrible person!
> 
> You can find me [tumblr](https://mysticmilks.tumblr.com), [twitter](https://twitter.com/mystic_milks) or [curiousCat](https://curiouscat.me/mystic_milks)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Many thanks to [@spiteandmalice ](https://twitter.com/spiteandmalice) for beta reading!
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **Shameless self-promo**  
>  If you like this work you can check my other works.  
> Current WIPs:  
> translation of the famous Russian AU [To the Moon and Back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380280)  
> Russian train-AU [The train on fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477458/)
> 
> Finished:  
> fantasy AU[drop the curtain, blow out the candles ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462159)  
> Moder AU-[my face above the water, my feet can't touch the ground](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928956)  
> Moder-au [Up All Night ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18018218/)  
> post-tlj [you are burned up before you know it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17705078)


	3. Following your desires

Ben stops mashing avocado and stares at the kitchen backsplash made from small white tiles, engulfed in his thoughts again. He’s been agitated the whole day, not sure what to expect from the upcoming meeting with Hux brothers.

Techie told him that the party would be small. If it was Leia’s words it’d mean ten to twenty-five people. Anything less than ten his mother wouldn't even consider a party. But it might be just five of them like it was yesterday during their trip to the beach. In that case, Ben might be lucky to get Hux’s number. Or even make out with Techie in a dark corner. Ben tries not to get his hopes up — most likely there will be a crowd of people, and he’ll end up sitting on a couch with strangers, feeling awkward and unwanted.

Ben spent the previous night trying to figure out whom he desired more, Hux or Techie, and what to do with his feelings. Hux drove him crazy. Everything about him seemed perfect and unattainable — all his actions screamed of calm superiority. Yet with Hux, Ben wanted more. It was stupid. Ben didn’t even know the man but felt drawn to him. Techie, on the other hand, could be perfect for a fun and adventurous night.

In his dreams there were both of them: Ben chased one but caught the other. Hux kissed him, but then, when Ben looked at him, it was Techie's face. They transformed and interchanged, messing with Ben’s head. He woke up with an achingly hard cock, and came after a few strokes.

It was a stupid dream, Ben says to himself, going back to making a dip. His doubts are also stupid. Twins are way out of his league. Ben doesn’t have a chance with either of them. Techie flirts with everyone, and Hux just competes with him. Yesterday was just one big practical joke. Most likely today they will forget about Ben after ‘Hi, welcome to our party’, and move on to their way cooler friends.

In half an hour Ben goes to his room to change and comes to the full-length mirror in the hallway to check his look.

“Nice shirt,” he hears Poe say, “Turn around I want to see the whole picture.”

When Ben turns around, his roommate is standing in his bedroom door frame, smiling encouragingly.

Ben mimics Poe's smile and turns around, feeling like a boy before his first date, posing in front of a supporting parent.

“You look like a man from the yacht catalog,” says Poe. “It’s not even a pick-up line, buddy. I’m as honest as a doctor.”

Ben’s doubts didn’t stop him from preparing his nicest clothes. He chose a deep brown silk shirt, short sleeves and beige slacks. He scrubbed himself extra well too. He even checked his emergency condom in his wallet—it was there, where else it might be—and added a small pack of lube. Just in case. A boy can dream.

“Thank you, bro,” Ben mutters.

Ben didn’t confess to Poe that he was going to their neighbor. He dodged Poe’s questions with ‘I met someone yesterday.’ Which technically was true. From some point of view.

Now Ben is ashamed. It’s not Poe’s fault that he is smooth and handsome, and that everyone instantly falls in love with him. The fact that there are two Huxs didn’t improve the situation. If Ben knew who he likes more, he might have taken Poe with him. Yet Ben can’t stand the thought of Poe hitting on either of them. And remembering some past unfortunate events, both of them might be into Poe. That'd destroy Ben. 

“You are most welcome. Whoever your secret admirers are, they are lucky. Text me if you decide to stay overnight, so I don’t worry.”

“Certainly.”

“I mean it. Good luck. Go get them.”

Five minutes after nine, Ben arrives at Hux’s door. His mind is reeling with the question of what is considered a good impression in Hux’s cycle — coming on time, or a bit late, and if late then how late? His fingers are trembling slightly when he presses the button.

The door opens after a few seconds and Ben sees the two brothers meeting him.

“Hi, Ben,” they say almost in unison.

“Come in,” adds Hux.

“Hi,” says Ben, entering, “That’s for you.”

He brought a moderately expensive bottle of wine and homemade guacamole. It’s always a safe bet to bring a small gift when you are invited for the first time, as they say in the Organa-Solo family.

The apartment is quiet, and Ben doesn’t notice anyone else from where he stands. He looks around. To his left, a red wall goes for twenty feet. To his right, a bit forward, without any doors, he can see a home office.

“Thank you,” says Hux, taking everything from Ben’s hands, looking a bit surprised, “That’s a nice wine.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

The call with his mom was awkward, but Leia was an expert in wine, and she helped him to pick something not very expensive yet exquisite.

“I’ll ask you to take off your shoes,” says Hux, “no exceptions.”

“That’s the rule,” Techie smirks, “I was trying to stop him countless times. But then he starts a soliloquy about his carpets, hygiene, and all the deadly viruses that lurk outside. Believe me, it’s easier to obey.”

Ben only smiles in return.

“When are the others going to arrive?” he asks, following the brothers inside.

“Who else do you need?” says Techie.

“I thought Phasma and —”

“You thought wrong,” cuts him Hux “It’s only three of us. Is it fine with you, Ben?”

“Yeah. Right. It’s perfect.”

They both look at him, and Ben feels that his cheeks are on fire.

Techie starts the tour of the apartment, while Hux goes to the kitchen to open the wine. The apartment is fancy, big by European standards, and stylish. It has two bedrooms and a huge living room. All outer walls are glass. A lot of colors, a lot of natural material. A stone cube is situated in the center of the living room — the guest bathroom is hidden there. The design is eclectic—vintage chairs are mixed with modern lamps, yet it's harmonious. During his life, Ben went to different places owned by wealthy people, but Hux's apartment is one of the most impressive. The subtle taste with the ability to challenge the rules is obvious in every detail.

Hux joins them in the dining zone where Ben is gaping at the wall full of paintings. It looks like a puzzle, where tiny paintings hang side by side with huge ones.

“Contemporary artists,” explains Hux, giving each of them a glass full to the brim of red wine “Mostly East European, a few from France, and Holland, but these two are American.”

Techie talks and shows souvenirs his brother brought from his trips around the globe, while Hux looks proud each time Ben praises something.

“And there?” Ben points to a barely noticeable door.

“My bedroom. Do you want to see?”

“Yes.”

The bedroom is cozy. The bed oversees the glass wall with a view on the park. But Ben’s attention is drawn to the collage on the wall. It’s made of magazine cutouts, bright elements, but most of it is photos of the brothers, Phasma and other people whom Ben doesn’t know. It looks like a real work of art.

“You like it?” he hears Hux asking.

“Yes. It's beautiful.”

“My dear brother made it himself — as he did most of the design of this apartment,” says Techie.

He whispers in Ben’s ear when they move toward the patio, with real pride in his voice, “Some painting over there he did himself too.” 

Ben can’t believe that someone can be that ideal as A. Hux. It strikes him that he isn’t even sure what he wants more: to date Hux or to be Hux.

Through the sliding door they go outside. The terrace is almost as big as the apartment, u-shaped circling it from three sides.

They are on the fifth floor, but it is an old building with a high ceiling. Their house is the highest one in the neighborhood, and from where they stand, they can see the whole city center, even the Berlin Tower in the distance. It’s already dark and most of the houses around them are lit with warm yellow light coming from the windows.

On the left of the terrace is situated a long table with six chairs. Next to it is a relax zone with pillows, recliners, and a fire pit in the middle, which probably is used for the barbecue. They head to the center where something is hidden between trees and big potted plants.

“Tadah!” says Techie, when they approach it.

There is a hot tub built-in in the floor, highlighted with embedded lights.

“Wow,” says Ben.

“I told you you’d be impressed,” says Techie.

It’s not the first roof-top tub that Ben has ever seen. He has even been to that famous hotel in Singapore with a huge swimming pool on top of it years ago with his family. But he definitely didn’t expect to find a hot tub on top of his apartment building in Berlin of all places.

“Not very useful, with this climate,” says Hux “But I wanted to spoil myself.”

“Do you want to try it, Ben?” asks Techie.

“Try what?”

Ben feels like an idiot. Empty apartment. Two handsome men. The glass of wine in his hand. Roof-top terrace. City lights. And now a hot tub.

He’s not stupid but it’s too good to be true.

“Hot-tub, obviously,” says Hux, “We can get in. If you want.”

Ben wants to. A lot. He isn’t sure what exactly is going on, yet he wants it. But there is one problem.

“I didn’t bring my swim shorts,” he says lamely.

“We don’t need them,” says Techie “Haven’t you been to the nudist beach yet? Even yesterday there were plenty of naked people. I bet you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Won’t be arrested for public indecency?” Ben asks before he can stop himself.

“No,” Techie laughs lightly, “We are in Europe, my dear American puritan. We are free here.”

“And it’s not a public place,” adds Hux, “But don’t listen to my brother, Ben. He is known for pushing people. He can be naked as often as he wishes, and you should act as you are comfortable. If you need you can go home and change. Or we can do it some other time.”

The mention of ‘other time’ sparks in Ben’s brain. It’s only a figure of speech, protests his self-conscious mind, but he doesn't care.

“I have no problems with undressing,” he says.

“I bet you don’t,” mutters Techie, touching his forearm and smiling.

Ben looks around searching for a place to undress when it strikes him. How ridiculous he is! He will modestly take his pants off, only to walk naked to them - ridiculous.

Ben turns around and sees that Techie is already undressed and in the water.

“I’ll change like a civilized person,” says Hux, “Behave yourself while I’m away.”

He smirks to both of them, before disappearing inside the apartment.

Ben takes his socks off, and stops, not sure where to put them, stuck like an old Windows XP, error window in his mind.

“What are you waiting for, darling?” asks Techie.

“I—” Ben starts, positively clueless to what he is going to say.

“I can turn away,” says Techie, closing his face with his hands and peaking between his fingers “Ignore me, I’m not here.”

It’s childish and silly and reminds Ben of the parties in his early college days.

One-two-three, he counts, takes his pants off along with his underwear, and quickly descends into the water, maintaining a respectful distance from Techie.

“Are you planning to sit that far away from me?” asks Techie, beckoning him to come closer.

“Maybe I like to be chased?”

“I have all the reasons to be,” says Techie and slides forward, so their sides are almost touching. “You look positively gorgeous.”

Ben glances at him to see if he’s joking, but it doesn’t seem so.

“Thank you.”

Ben can’t take his eyes away from Techie’s body. He knows he’s staring but the man looks like a dream and Ben simply can’t stop. Techie catches his gaze, and slowly as if he’s afraid to scare Ben puts his hand on Ben’s thigh under the water.

“But you are gorgeous. It’s not even a compliment, just a fact. It’s the most cheesy and cliche thing ever, but I swear it’s true — you could be a model.”

Ben isn’t able to stop himself from huffing a laugh.

“I'm serious," continues Techie "If you ever want to try I can connect you to the right people.”

It sounds crazy. Ben has never thought about himself as a handsome man. His father is handsome. Poe is handsome. And he… He is just Ben. 

He looks down, averting Techie’s brazen gaze. It doesn’t help. Down is Techie’s dick with neatly trimmed red hair. Ben stops his eyes at his chest level, only to stare at the piercing in his nipple.

“Do you want to touch it?” he hears a low whisper near his neck.

Ben nods. It’s just a nipple ring, not anything special, but he feels like a perpetrator in a museum when his fingers reach to lightly pull it.

Techie moans sweetly.

“It’s only fair if I touch yours,” Techie says. Instead of reaching with his fingers, he takes Ben’s nipple between his teeth and teases it with his tongue. Techie’s hand slides up from Ben’s thigh to his groin. It’s not easy to hide his interest in such a position.

“Oh, Ben, you are so beautiful,” he says, moving his lips up “I adore your expressive face, and your body,” he lightly bites on Ben’s neck, “You are built like a Greek god.”

Their lips almost touch, when they hear steps, and Techie slides away with a mischievous smile.

“Did you have fun without me?” Hux says, approaching the tub, looking like he knows exactly what they were doing.

Ben feels himself flushing when Hux gazes at him. Hux wears a black silk robe, that reminds Ben of villains in old black and white movies. Very-very hot villains. He brings more alcohol and a stack of fluffy grey towels.

“Obviously,” says Techie, stretching his hand to take one of the glasses from Hux. “I always have fun. If I’d wait for you, I’d be constantly waiting while you chase money, fame, and world domination one art gallery at a time.”

Hux only hums, putting another glass into Ben’s hand, sitting on the wooden edge of the hot-tub and dipping his feet into the water.

Ben is caught between them — Techie’s body pressing to his left, while Hux’s leg is touching his right side.

“Won’t you join us?” Ben asks looking up at Hux, both scared of it, and desperately craving it.

“Maybe later. I rarely use it but I’m happy that my guests enjoy it,” he says, while his toes are grazing Ben’s skin. Hux raises his glass. “Cheers. I’m glad you joined us tonight, Ben.”

“So official,” teases his brother. “Cheers.”

They drink. And they talk. It's both awkward and hot. Both impossible to ignore that they are naked and so close to each other, yet inexplicably easy to just spend time, chat, enjoy this hot summer night, and fancy sweet red wine.

Someone ought to say something, thinks Ben, sipping more wine. The tension between them is almost palpable. Someone ought to move things further. They are three grown-ups. Ben is on board with whatever is going to happen. Yet he can’t open his mouth to say it. 

The phone chime interrupts his inner debate. It sounds like an old Nokia ringtone and comes from the pile of clothes near the tub.

“I have to take it.”

Techie, naked and wet, dashes out and picks it up. He starts speaking the language that Ben identifies as Japanese. Probably.

“Towel,” says Hux, throwing it into his brother, who strides around the corner, “water will be everywhere.”

“What was that?” asks Ben.

“Clients from Japan. It must be early Monday morning there, and they want to set plans for the day. My brother only pretends to be carefree, you know.”

“Yeah. He speaks Japanese?”

“We both do. But Techie always had a talent for languages,” Hux says softly, “We were lucky. Our paternal grandmother paid for our education, and we were able to pursue our dreams. And what about you?”

His leg playfully touches Ben.

“Lucky to have paid for education. Not so lucky with dreams pursued.”

Ben feels bold. His head is light from wine and his hard-on. He lightly strokes Hux’s calf, moving his. His skin is smooth, and he hums.

“Hhhm. Don’t want to talk about families, don’t you?”

“Don’t want to talk about the past. Not today.” Ben’s fingers move up.

“Another time,” agrees Hux “Your hands are so nice. I said that before, didn’t I? Anyway, I should tell you again. They really are.”

Ben is not used to being complimented, hides his face into Hux’s lap.

“My brother is hitting on you,” Hux isn’t asking.

“Is that a problem?”

“Not for you, darling” Hux’s tingers tracing in Ben’s hair, lightly scratching his skull “We agreed a long time ago that if we both like someone we won’t compete. We learned that the hard way.”

“Ben,” his voice is soft. His other hand tilts Ben’s chin up “I don’t want you to do anything you are uncomfortable with, okay?”

Ben nods.

Techie is nice and funny and cute, but Hux… he has that special energy around him as if the whole world is his.

He brings his hands to Hux’s belt “May I?”

“Be my guest,” Hux smiles.

Ben unfastens his robe and sees his dick and trimmed red hair. He moves between Hux’s legs. He lowers his head down, closing his lips around Hux. Being caught excites him. Being seen by neighbors excites him. Being good for Hux excites him. He relishes all of it. The slightly salty taste on his tongue. Hux’s hands in his hair.

“So good,” Hux whispers, petting him “Ben you are gorgeous.”

“I see you started without me,” Techie’s voice startles him.

Ben pulls away and for a split second, he feels embarrassed, breathes heavily, and wants to flee. Then he reminds himself that it’s okay, no one here is going to shame him.

Techie stays there, naked and wet, a towel on his shoulders, and smiles at Ben, as if he knows what he was thinking.

“Ben,” he says “Do you want me to leave, or can I join?”

Ben doesn’t believe it. It’s too good to be true. Such things only happen in porn. He searches Hux’s face for the right answer. Hux shrugs as if saying it’s not his choice.

“I’d love for you to stay,” Ben says, barely audible.

“Sure?” Techie asks.

Ben nods. He's indecisive about everything in his life but not about this.

“Please,” he whispers. “If that’s okay with both of you.”

He looks at Hux’s face again, asking for permission. Hux smiles wickedly and nods too.

Hux outstretches his hand and helps Ben to get out of the tub. He isn’t sure what he has to do next.

“Follow me.”

Hux guides him to the relax zone nearby, where pillows lay in a haphazardly-artistic order. He takes one of them and invites Ben to kneel on it.

“Comfortable?” Hux asks.

“Yes,” Ben says, looking at his eyes.

“Ben, you are beautiful like that.”

For a moment they all just stay there. Two handsome men above him, and he, kneeling in front of them, appraising their perfect bodies. He feels Hux’s hand petting his hair, while Techie strokes his shoulders, and plays with his nipples. They are repeating that he is  _ good _ , and  _ beautiful _ and  _ gorgeous _ . And for that moment, Ben wishes for nothing else. Just stay there, and be appreciated.

The moment passes, and Ben hesitantly takes both of their dicks in his hands, stroking. He isn’t sure how to start, so he invokes in his memory one of the last porn movies that he watched, and takes one head into his mouth then almost immediately withdraws and takes the other one. He repeats that over and over again, trying each time to go a bit deeper, relishing the soft moans above him.

He has never experienced anything like that. Two sets of hands are on him, guiding him and encouraging him. Two voices are praising him.

He tries to split his attention between them, stroking one when he sucks on another.

“Such a good boy,” groans Hux, when Ben takes him almost fully inside.

It does something to Ben, going straight to his cock, making him freeze for a moment.

“You like it?” asks Hux, grabbing his hair gently, and making Ben look up, Hux’s dick still in his mouth.

Ben hums affirmatively around him. He didn’t know that before but he enjoys it. A lot.

“You are a dream, Ben,” Hux says, pulling him away.

Ben obediently takes Techie’s dick in.

“You can do it,” encourages Techie, “I know you can. Show what a good boy you are.” 

With doubled enthusiasm he swallows his dick until his nose is pressed into Techie’s skin, while he strokes Hux’s, rubbing it on his own cheek. His own dick had never been that hard.

“Oh, yes, that’s it,” Techie presses harder on his neck, “Take it, good boy.”

When he pulls Ben’s head away, Ben is covered with tears and saliva, coughing a bit.

“You are so beautiful right now,” Techie caresses his face, smearing all the mess.

“Come here, darling,” he guides Ben up, and passionately kisses him. The moment later Hux moves him and kisses him too.

“Will you let us fuck you?” whispers Hux.

“Yes!” he pants, “Yes, please.”

He almost loses control, only because of the idea of taking both of them.

“Do you want us to tell you what to do?”

All Ben can do is weakly nod.

“We will take care of you, darling,” says Techie, “Now be a good boy and kneel there. I need your gorgeous ass in the air.”

Ben does as he’s said, his cock hard leaking on the pillow. He isn’t sure what exactly they want to do but he feels completely safe. On his side he sees Hux circling him. He feels the pillow moving when Hux kneels behind him.

They aren’t hidden by the trees now, and it’s completely possible for neighbors to see them, but Ben doesn’t care.

Techie comes in front of him, and lies down, spreading his legs so Ben is situated between them.

“You can start darling,” Techie says, putting his hands on Ben’s shoulders “Show me how good that pretty mouth of yours is when it’s all mine. And, dear, if anything is wrong just tell us, alright?”

Ben nods, looking him in the eyes and takes him in, at the same time he feels Hux’s hands spreading his cheeks. His wet tongue comes to his entrance. Ben shudders with his whole body, when Hux licks him.

He groans around Techies dick, while Hux—gorgeous Hux—is eating his ass. If Ben’s mouth wasn’t occupied he’d be moaning so loudly everyone would hear him.

“So are so good,” says Hux between licks.

“So gorgeous,” says Techie, pressing him down “Your mouth is made to be fucked, darling.”

Hux tongue disappears, to be replaced by a slick finger.

“Your ass is so tight,” says Hux, opening him, biting and sucking on his buttocks.

“Your lips are so sweet,” says Techie, pulling Ben’s mouth away, and holding him, so he can only lap on the head. “Such a good mouth of such a good boy.” 

The second finger joins the first one. Ben wants to beg Hux to fuck him. He is ready. He can take it. But Hux continues teasing him, scissoring his fingers, circling them, withdrawing and pushing them again.

“Darling, I need you to get onto your hands and knees for me,” He hears from behind, fingers and Techie’s dick disappear from his mouth, leaving him pitifully empty.

“Yes,” exhales Ben, moving as he was asked.

Techie kneels in front of him and pushes his dick fully inside Ben’s mouth. Hux’s hand is on his hip, the other one on his shoulder blade. The head of his cock is touching him, and then he enters him, sliding in excruciatingly slow. Hux stops when he’s fully inside.

Ben is full. They’re stuffing him from both ends, and he feels like he’s going to explode with pleasure.

Hux starts to move. They stopped cooing. The only sound is their ragged breathing and wet obscene slaps of their skin.

Techie is the first one to finish. He pulls out a bit and comes into Ben’s mouth. Ben swallows around it, but his chin and lips are all covered in Techie’s seed anyway. To add even more, Techie rubs his head on Ben’s lips. Ben readily cleans it, moaning and pushing his ass back to Hux.

“Ben?” he hears, and then Hux withdraws fully “I’m going to come on you. Turn around, dear.”

Ben quickly lays on his back. He sees that Hux pulls off, and throws his condom. He kneels on top of Ben stroking himself almost lazily.

Ben grabs his own cock and moves his hand fast.

“So sweet,” pants Hux “So good. My good boy.”

Hux’s warm seed hits his belly and chest, and at that moment Ben falls over the edge. His vision goes white, all of his body convulses, and thick stripes of his own come are mixing with Hux’s.

“Look what a mess you made, gorgeous,” he hears when he comes back to his senses.

Two hands help him get up. They take a shower together, lazily kissing, and helping each other get clean.

Covered in a soft towel, Ben thinks about leaving, but before he can muster his thoughts and find out what he needs to do for that, Hux guides him to a big sofa in the living room. He says something about other rooms and beds, but Ben doesn’t get it anyway. He falls asleep alone on that big sofa, the second after Hux brings him a pillow and a thin blanket.

* * *

For the first few seconds when Ben opens his eyes, he doesn't understand where he is. The full-wall panoramic windows remind him — right, he's in his neighbor's roof-top apartment. He's naked. All his muscles are pleasantly aching evoking memories of last night. One of the greatest and definitely the craziest and somehow sweetest moments of his sex life.

The sky outside is predawn grey. He stands up, stretching and yawning. He modestly covers himself with the blanket — now he doesn't feel so bold and adventurous as yesterday. I must have slept only for a few hours, he speculates, striding to the patio to collect his slacks and shirt.

Fortunately, he finds everything exactly where he left it. Even his phone, about which he completely forgot, lays on the table near three empty glasses.

He checks it — 4.20 am and five texts from Poe with lewd wishes of good date and safe fuck. 

Ben looks around and smiles. The day breaks. Yesterday he was too occupied with the flirting to enjoy the view, but now he can see the whole city center: the river, old buildings, and Berlin TV-tower. He feels frisky, dropping the blanket down and showing himself to the city, slowly dressing, watching the city while it can watch him.

Fully dressed, he quenches his thirst with warm wine left in the bottle, giving one last look from the top of the world before descending down to his monotonous life.

He's not sneaking away, no he needs to go. He needs to pee and sleep, in a bit more than five hours he needs to be in the office. He can't pretend to be ill or waiting for delivery again.

And he doesn't feel ashamed — he feels great, he just doesn't want to wake Hux (and Techie) up. It'd be awkward anyway. It's better not to lie and pretend that they will call each other. They will have plenty of awkward moments anyway when they accidentally see each other in the hall.

You can't have it all at once, repeats his inner voice, when he fumbles with the lock, you’ve already got more than you dared to hope and you’ll have to pay for it.

The door finally clicks, and Ben forcefully shoos these thoughts away. 

Even if they meet in the hall so what? Hux enjoyed it as much as Ben did. Those thoughts belong to an old Ben, to the boy who is constantly ashamed and tries to be agreeable for everyone. He is not that boy! He stepped away from his family. He moved to the city where no one cares what he wears, where he can be himself. He had a great night with two great men. 

You can't have it all at once, but you can enjoy what you have, Ben realizes.

He feels free. For the first time in his life, he feels right.

"Ben," he hears a quiet voice.

Turning around, Ben sees Hux, who looks sleepy, has messy hair, and wears a light green pajama set. It might sound ridiculous if Ben said it, but even like that Hux looks impressive, maybe even better than he looks in his usual stylish smart casual, or in sexy robe yesterday. 

Now he looks homely and somehow more unobtainable. With a wanly inner smile Ben knows that he will never see him again like that.

"Ben," Hux repeats coming closer to him. Ben realizes that he was staring like an idiot, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I need to go change and prepare for work today."

"Right," Hux says, "It's Monday. I took a vacation for the next two days to spend time with Techie."

"Right," agrees Ben, not caring that he stares at Hux anymore. He wants to remember him, his jawline, his fringe, pale freckles, remember his smell, remember how he feels when he's around Hux.

"Yeah, he's flying back tomorrow afternoon."

The elevator shuts its door.

Hux is close.

Feeling like he's a teen again, feeling like he's in that Bryan Adams' song,  _ standing on your mama’s porch feeling like it's now or never _ , Ben leans forward leaving a chaste kiss on Hux's lips.

Hux looks startled, touching his lips with his tongue. Ben feels stupid. Stupider than ever.

"Bye," he mumbles, turning away and pressing the elevator button again.

“Do you want to meet again sometime?”

“That… that'd be nice,” Ben says half turned, unsure if Hux really means it, or if he wants to be kind to a stupid boy who can't hold his emotions.

“This Tuesday at 8 pm. I need to drive my brother to the airport, and then I'm free.”

Ben finally looks at Hux, nodding. Probably he wants to fuck Ben again. Yeah, that's fine, why not?

"We can go to the Italian at the corner," suggests Hux, and for the briefest moment he looks as hesitant as Ben feels, "Then there is a new Marvel movie in the cinema or I heard about the North European Film Festival if that's your thing."

Ben keeps nodding, and he can't stop himself from smiling, "That sounds great. All of it." 

“I’ll be waiting.”

“Great.”

“Great,” the door chimes again and Ben turns around to leave, but hears Hux again, “and Ben...”

Hux pulls him closely, kissing him deeply and passionately.

Well, maybe sometimes you might have all you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It supposed to be one chapter fic for valentine's day!
> 
> You can find me [tumblr](https://mysticmilks.tumblr.com), [twitter](https://twitter.com/mystic_milks) or [curiousCat](https://curiouscat.me/mystic_milks)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Many thanks to [@spiteandmalice ](https://twitter.com/spiteandmalice) for beta reading!
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **Shameless self-promo**  
>  _modern AUs:_  
>  Famous Russian AU, that my friends and I translated [To the Moon and Back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380280/)  
> Demon!Hux / hunter!Kylo [Dating a monster](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703904)  
> Hux/Kylo/Techie, pwp with feelings and bottom!Kylo [You can have it all, but not all at once](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721863/)  
> Russian train AU [The train on fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477458/)  
> roommates AU, there was only one bed [Up All Night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18018218/)  
> co-workers on a long business trip, friends to lovers [my face above the water, my feet can't touch the ground](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928956/)
> 
>  _Canon:_  
>  post-tlj, media AU [you are burned up before you know it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17705078)
> 
>  _Fantasy AUs:_  
>  Hux is a merman, Kylo is a Sea Warlock [The Little Merman](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24610624/)  
> Arranged marriage, Hux needs to marry a mysterious man and Kylo needs to deliver him there [drop the curtain, blow out the candles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462159)
> 
>  _Collection of ficlets_  
>  Ficlets for Kyluxpositivity [In all the worlds, in all the times](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771663)


End file.
